who does your DVCS remind you of?

I’ve been looking around again at DVCS comparisons. I’ve used Bazaar, then Git, then Bazaar, now I’m thinking of trying out Mercurial. I can’t say I’m really happy with any of them (sometimes I wish for the SVN days again) but I’d like to find one that I can settle on.

Normally the git vs bzr vs hg sites have lots of technical details about branching, documentation, Windows support, speed, etc. but today I found a particularly fun way to compare:

Mercurial is your smart friend who likes to explain things to you. Git is your genius coworker who sighs and rolls his eyes every time you ask him a question.

So how would you describe your favorite VCS?